Saturday, June 27, 2009
I have been sick trying to convince my husband that I want to have another child. He believes we do not have enough money, yet we are taking a vacation this year. I tell him we can work out a plan and then he tells me he feels too old and too tired to have another child. Before we married, he was the one who wanted another child. He would lay in bed with me and dream and tell me her name and how much time he would spend with her. He would talk about what he wanted to do with her and how he hoped she looked like me. I was a little surprised when we were dating, but I quickly began to play the game with him. He even got our then 7-year-old son in on the game and would ask him what he would do with her when she was born. Our son became extremely involved in the game and started to ask for certain things for her. He would ask us to play the game before we went to bed at night.
After our marriage we moved to another town and it took us a while to get settled. It took him longer to find work than we anticipated and it drew against some of our savings. This definitely disheartened him and made him a little depressed. However, we emerged and are quite comfortable now. When I began to talk about our plan, he would avoid me and change the subject. We had some severe arguments as he told me he changed his mind. I was devastated for a while. I had really begun to plan in my mind how I wanted my later life to look. He was taking that away from me. I felt he was being selfish. I know that is scared and I try to get him to talk about it so we can alleviate his fear, but he will have no part of it.
I now feel more distant from him and even have trouble believing anything he says about our future, because I just do not feel anything he has explained to me justifies the betrayal for not only me but also our son. Our son asks us at least once a week when the baby would be here, and I just don't have the heart to tell him it was all a lie. I try to tell him that we are still thinking about it and we are not so sure it is a good idea now. Even the slightest mention of not having a little sister sends him into tears and full upset. My husband cannot tolerate it and berates him for blubbering. He says he is too big to get upset like that. I think he is expressing this betrayal the way I do.
I am getting older and feel this is my last opportunity to have a child and really want to turn this around before it is too late. But, I don’t know how to handle it. I have tried to convince him we need counseling over this, but he says he loves me more than life and nothing is wrong with our relationship. He thinks I should accept the reality of our situation and our life will settle back into normalcy. Is he right? Am I asking too much and should let it go forever? It saddens me to think this. I don't know how to go on. Sphere: Related Content
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Easier said than done, I know, but let me give you a couple of quick tips to help you get going. Follow these 5 simple rules and you will see yourself start to thin out:
1. Omit the words "fried" and "sugar" from you lips. Literally, block those foods from your menu all together and you will be well on your way to dropping pounds. Don't be fooled, tempura is fried!
2. Eat breakfat and eat it as soon as you get up. Don't let two hours go by without consuming something. Avoid eating pancakes, fried eggs, bacon, sausage and hashbrowns. Instead eat toast, poached eggs, veggie bacon or sausage and fresh orange juice. Another good one is whole oats oatmeal and raisins with honey or agave nectar.
3. Avoid your stove. If you never turn on an eye on your stove again, you will be giving your body a blessing. Everything on top of your stove is fried. (Yes even with cooking spray)
4. Exercise at least 3 times a week. And vary your exercise. You should take at least 30 minutes to exercise. If you do cardio, you should do it twice a day and spend one day doing strength training. Pick up a gallon of water and start lifting. Do sit ups and push ups. Try to hold your body up with your elbows for a minute. Core exercises are the best, if that is all you do.
5. Go to bed at a reasonable hour. 9pm is best, but whatever time you get up in the morning, you should count back at least 8 hours and go to bed then. No matter what you have to do all day, rest is the most important thing for you, so schedule it in just like you do everything else in your life. This will regenerate your muscles and your mind so you can get back out there and balance everything else.
These 5 simple things should help you show results faster than anything else. Don't forget portion control. If you tend to eat everything on your plate then scale back and only put one handful at a time on your plate and wait 15 minutes before you go back for more. Do this for a month and weigh yourself! Dramatic improvement. Do this for the rest of your life and you will never have to weigh yourself again. Be gentle to yourself as well. If you have a fried attack, let it go and get right back to your plan. It doesn't make sense to indulge if you don't enjoy it.
Love yourself first and you will improve your commitment to all the things you want in your life. Sphere: Related Content
Thursday, June 11, 2009
You know what is so great about Apple products? It's like fashion. Each year you have a new season that is filled with a new concept. The fashion industry comes out with a new color or a new silhouette and Apple comes out with a new technology and new design. There is something cool and functional to look forward to after each conference. I admit that I am part geek, and to me geek is sexy, so this technology stuff has me totally excited. I get the exact high someone who is into shopping gets. I love to hear about all new technologies and learn what they can do, then I cannot wait to hear about the comparisons and find out which is best. Right now the new craze is the iPhone (iPhone 3gS is out next week) and it is being compared to Blackberry (The new Storm came out quietly-note the look-a-like website), although Palm has come out with a new product (Friday) that is trying to compete with both. Remember Palm, oh the days of the stylus! That was like sooo the rage.
Listening to the WWDC conference in podcast, I envisioned the climate in the room to be equivalent to a Georgio Armani trunk show at the merchandise mart. All of the buyers huddled in a swank workroom ooohing and ahhing at the latest cuts, colors and stitching that the Armani moguls waived in front of them while explaining that each new "Real Housewife" would be clawing at the runway to be the first to don the wares. And like Armani, apple pays attention to detail with a legendary intensity from the visual aesthetics to the key elements of the user experience. An Armani dress shows no indifference in its made to measure quality and flawlessly clean lines. The consistent high level of perfection in Apple products leaves room for the buyer to feel good with the product. All of the products are an EXPERIENCE. Not just a thing. Even taking a trip to the store is like going out to dinner.
Apple is taking risks in pushing extreme technology by combining tactile with data. We can play instruments like a flute on the iPhone and lets not forget the breathalyzer where you can test your alcohol level before you drive. What? My mind just can't go there yet. Apple is expanding quickly and Doctors have even raised an eyebrow with applications that can give them instant patient records (can anyone say, goodbye file cabinets?). With technology such as this, it is not surprising if our next move is quite Trekkian. I cannot wait to get my hands on the new Macbook. Aparently there is no more clicker button and the track pad is made of glass. Yahoo! Oh no, they have nothing to do with this.
Sincerely, why anyone would want to stay PC other than for the price, is beyond me. PC's are just no fun to me anymore and believe me I was a Microsoft disciple. It's no wonder they are dropping their prices the way a stripper drops her dress, they're a cheap rendition of their fore fathers, and cheap is as cheap does. Listen to that hard drive whine. Yes, Microsoft is working on it's platform but you can put a nice dress on a call girl, but she is still a whore. They just haven't Wowed anyone in a very long time. They have become the Walmart of the computing industry. They are going to have to speed up the design of this Midori system and make sure it is flawless, before they will be able to out design Apple. I have to say Microsoft has kept a foothold in the business world, but for one reason, we all grew up using it. It's like ripping Manolo's off of Sarah Jessica Parker and replacing them with Louboutin's, yes he created the sex in sexy shoe but some of us have grown up and moved on to the sleaker more functional and equally sexy. The business world just can't accept change. Try out the MAC, join the fun.
Go to an Apple store. Talk to a MAC Genius! Yes, I tend to get a little looney when it comes to things I am passionate about. But, it is no different than a clothes horse who has a closet full of skinny jeans and silk shifts. It's just a different animal. After all, I am a stockholder who is putting her money where her wireless keyboard is. Wink. Sphere: Related Content
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
In my next life I will put my education first and not purchase that purse or pair of shoes instead of a book. That reminds me, I will read more and not purchase a television set. When I decide to have children, it will be after a very long relationship with a loving man who will take the time to worship me first and earn my womb. And when I decide to bear his children, I will spend tons of time with my little one and instead of one child, I will have two. And my finances will be such that I can spend every day with them, baking and crafting. I will be able to go to all the school functions. I will develop many beautiful hobbies to share with my children. I will teach them to sew and knit, and best of all to meditate.
Next time around, I will keep all the friends I have made along the path of my life and write or call and keep in touch often. I will learn and remember about their lives and their birthdays. I will make them little gifts. Yes, this leads me to service. I will serve others and spend more time giving. Saying yes will not make me resentful. When I receive criticism, I will listen and change. Next time. And in the next life, I will not have overly inflated expectations of others. I will have those expectations of myself. My goal with others will be to make them smile and assist them in seeing joy in their lives. My life will be a part of others lives. It will be most important for me to find out what is most important for others. Yes! And with this I will bring together the elderly and the very young. One of my dreams has always been to take preschoolers and to incorporate them into nursing homes. Sort of like a Preschool/Senior Center I never understood why the elderly are shut up with other elderly. It is a proven fact that older people need younger people to help them live and it extends their lives. So yes, indeed this will be one of my tasks in the second life.
Lastly, I will be good to myself and smile more often. I will make the time for myself and covet my own thoughts and ideas. I will cultivate the ME within that is sure about my own identity and needs. I will give myself what I expect from others and master being my own best friend. The second life will be about others, but will not be at the expense of myself. I will know how to balance all things and keep an even and pleasant demeanor. If I need to get angry or upset, I will have dignity and grace. I will respect others next time and understand that not everyone has a window to my heart, soul and mind. My own spirit will be protected and at peace. I will giggle more, be more adventurous and give additional thanks.
And so, with that, I want to hear what your next life will be like? Sphere: Related Content
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Er go, my project was under way. I had some all natural embroidery floss that I ordered on Etsy from a failed attempt at creating a hand made rug. Ummmm...let's not go there. And I had some leftover gold floss from Christmas stockings I made (yes embroidered, but I don't count them because it was a pattern and I mean exactly everything like paint by numbers). This new endeavor consisted of my own plan, design and construction with no help from anywhere. I had some canvas from some failed grocery bags I made a couple months ago(sitting in the bottom of my closet), and some cute feed sack fabric from a quilt that I cut the squares for and produced no quilt. See where I am going? I felt just as confident in my completing this project as I have had thousands of others. I have a wasteland of carnage tucked in drawers and closets from abandoned projects that lay lifeless and alien in form. This project felt right and doable. I have a way of stirring up this incredible passion for creating something marvelous and instead of obtaining the beginner version, I go for the super advanced, 20-years-experience-needed, severely complicated, mega-creation. Then, I wonder where I went wrong. You see, I don't possess any lack of talent or go-to-it-iveness. I lack follow through, yet it is not because I am lazy or get particularly bored with it. It is because I am so over my head I become confused and feel I need to "take a break" from it. Then fear sets in with getting started again and I panic, feeling if I start I will have that same sense of confusion. I still feel like the grocery bags are a great idea to complete, if only I could have made the reversible with pockets come out right some how.
Well, I began creating the purse on a Saturday, which was a good choice because I had time to workout the idea in my head for two days while constructing. Once, I got past the first embroidered side, I was hooked. Wow, instant gratification. I could see the beauty with every stitch. I wish I had photographed all along the way, how the pattern developed out of no where and sprouted into something really feminine. I was in a zone and really understood zen at that moment. I felt really proud. I have made a lot of things in my day, but the sense of gratification with embroidery is truly new. I knew then, intuitively, I would not be able to stop.
But the work bell chimed and I needed to get back to what paid the grocery bill. I put it down and went back to work, but I thought about it. I carried my phone in hand and my little pouch on my hip and wished I had finished, because oh I needed that little purse so badly. I decided to make an additional inside pouch just for my keys, so I wouldnt have to root around in the center. GREAT!! I got home and got right to work. Instead of cooking dinner, I treated the boys to some delicious frozen lasagna and they were pleased as punch. Well, I couldn't resist. Once I got the front pocket complete, I had to try the little iPhone in it and see if it liked it's new home. It was remarkably cozy! Yay! That was it, I would not go to bed without finishing it. I was not going to torture myself another day without having the right sized purse to carry to work.
I stayed up and embroidered and sewed and cut and stitched. Once I was finished with the main body, I agonized over the handle. I remembered those grocery bags. Their handles looked, well, mangled. I had a tough time turning them right side in after sewing them an so just left them half in and half out and sewed them down like that. Ugh! Mistake! I painstakingly ironed the handle just as I wanted it to look BEFORE sewing and decided to just hand stitch it just like that. Perfect. Then I attached it to the body of the purse. Voila! I walked around the house at 2am looking at my reflection in the windows. It was a really smart purse. But now what to do with all those credit cards and license that would be thrown around in there. I sat down at the table again and fashioned a little wallet that fit exactly. Ah! That felt soo good. That dismembered quilt upstairs was probably green with envy wondering why I didnt stay up all night stitching each of it's squares together. What was so special about this little purse. I didn't really know, but it made me feel that all my failures meant something. Now I had something made by my own hand that made me feel....? Hmmm...let me think. It made me feel just like I felt the day my son was born. It was hard work, but I knew the purpose and once I was finished I could see how remarkable it was and how much this birth would make me happy each day by just being born. No matter what demise befell in the past, this new little prize was worth the wait and the labor(pardon my pun).
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Sunday, May 31, 2009
Its refreshing to see Obama keeping his “brotha’ness” while he enters the white house. You can tell that he is not going to trade his personality and ethnicity for the presidential stamp. He is keeping it real.
As the 44th president he is expected to be poised, intelligent, think quickly on his feet, and pleasant. Obama epitomizes all of this, yet he has one upped the rest of our forefathers by bringing a P.I.M.P. factor to his post. It began with his DNC Keynote in 2004, continued during his announcement for presidential candidacy while smiling for cameras, played on in running against Hilary Clinton and later welcomed her into the campaign and finally peaked during his acceptance speech. In all cases he remained a cool “cat” as if he already knew the outcome of the race to be victorious. The most notable occasion was his “pimp walk” into the White house along side a goofy Bush and later when he danced with a "Fred Estair" kind of swagger at the inauguration balls. His “uber cool” has been recognized across the TV screen from his wiggle on Ellen to his acceptance of low blow attacks and even while the nation has been devastated by an economic meltdown not seen in decades. No doubt pimpin’ is hard work, however Obama does it with a finesse all his own. His graciousness and faith in himself is noteworthy. Now he has the biggest entourage of any celebrity and if that isn’t pimpin’, I don’t know what is.
It seems as though our new president is a natural for the job. He is collected relaxed and even spirited most of the time. It will be interesting to see his position as his seat heats up. Yet, he has already weathered one of the most difficult storms I have witnessed in my lifetime. There really aren't enough words to capture this new presidential savvy.
Obama Cool comes to the White House:
Pre-elect Hamming it up at a Dinners:
This is a book written by a friend of mine, she is showcasing one of her recipes.
I am actually in the book. Yay for me.
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